Battening Down the Hatches

26 Aug

Hurricane’s coming this weekend. First thought—what to eat?

I have a freezer full of Weight Watcher’s ice cream. What if we lose power? Between the “we-must-eat-all-the-ice-cream-before-it-melts” catastrophe and the fact that the height of the hurricane will pass through at the very moment I am supposed to be stepping on the scale at the Weight Watchers meeting, this promises to be a perfect storm of epic proportions.

I hope I have enough to eat in the house. Let’s see…I have cans of olives and bags of almonds from when I was doing the Mediterranean diet. There’s the 20 pound sack of rice from when I was doing the Rice Diet. I have cayenne pepper – what was that one? Baby food  (pretended it was for the nephews, but in truth – it seemed so sane to use baby food for snacks). Then of course, there are some Zone Bars and Atkins Bars – putrid, putrid, putrid. I have dried fruits aplenty from the raw food diet. Yep, they’re still dried. A package of instant Crème Brulee? What’s that doing there? Ah yes – “French Women Don’t Get Fat.” Three Slim-Fast shake cans from the 1990s.

Hmmm, something is there—in the back of the cabinet—behind the acai berry supplements and chocolate-raspberry stevia extract. It’s a bittersweet chocolate bar. What the heck? I was never on the chocolate diet!  The ingredients are rich and pure – and NORMAL—no sorbitol, sucralose, or aspartame.   Oh wait… the wrapper says  “In Case of Emergency—Break Here.”   Whew. All Set. Time to hunker down.

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6 Responses to “Battening Down the Hatches”

  1. Jane Sherman August 26, 2011 at 3:23 am #

    You’ve got me smiling again – broadly this time. Better hurry up and get that ice cream down before it melts on Sunday…..

  2. Rhonda Uretzky August 26, 2011 at 3:35 am #

    You crack me up..that reminds me: hurricane weather means time to crack open the frozen Milky Way bars with that hammer in the kitchen drawer

    • Jody Worsham August 26, 2011 at 5:03 am #

      Glad you have your food priorities in order. Don’t get hurricanes much in my area, but just in case I’ve laid up a store of Hershey almond bars (nuts for protein, no need to refrigerate), Snickers, (same reasoning), water. I’m good to go. The Medicare Mom.

  3. Shel August 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    My first thought was the ice cream too! Stay safe.

  4. gabicoatsworth August 30, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    Ivy – you have your priorities so straight! Isn’t it amazing the diets we’ve tried? I’m surprised you didn’t find an old cabbage there somewhere…

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